Are you going to be a full-time babysitter in your retirement?

People have told me that one of their fears about retirement is that their adult children will expect them to care for the grandchildren on a day-to-day basis or to change their plans at a moment’s notice.

If this is a concern for you, then you need to think about whether or not this is something you want to do.

Once you are clear on what it is you want and are willing to do, have a conversation with your adult children around expectations and boundaries.

This may be an uncomfortable conversation for you to have. However, doing something you really don’t want to do has a cost on you and your relationship with your adult children.

Be honest with yourself and your adult children even if it means disappointing them. At the very least they will know where you stand.

Do you talk to your partner about retirement?

Many people have no idea when their partner is going to retire. They just know their own date of retirement.

Since retirement is a HUGE change in someone’s life and will certainly impact a relationship, it’s important to find out what you’re each thinking.

The best action to take is to talk about it openly and honestly and there is certainly a lot to discuss such as:

  • Potential retirement dates
  • Finances / budget / financial planning
  • Tax Planning
  • Insurance needs (house, health, disability, long-term care; etc.)
  • Medical, health and dental benefit plans
  • Revising or writing your Last Will and Testament; Living Will or Health Care Directive; Identifying Power of Attorneys for Financial and Health Care (Health Care Proxy); Trusts
  • Expectations and desires; and
  • Your bucket lists that each of you want to experience together as well as apart.

Once you know what each other is thinking then you will be in a much better position to start planning!

Another situation that can happen is that you have been retired for a few years and soon your better half will be joining you. This will certainly be a transition for both of you which could be difficult and rocky or smooth and exciting or a combination of all of these.

Someone recently told me, “It was on my husband’s first official day of retirement, when he wandered into the kitchen, and questioned my ability of how to fill the dishwasher.” They had a good talk afterwards to work out a few things! 🙂

Again, the more you communicate with your partner the better prepared you both will be – talk about expectations, boundaries, challenges, obstacles and the opportunities that will be available to the both of you!